Which Bike for the Zombie Apocalypse Pt. 1

Posted: April 10, 2012 in Uncategorized

Let’s make this clear, ANY bike is better than NO bike in the event of Zombie Apocalypse. However, some bikes are better than others for specific tasks.

Touring Bike

The venerable touring bike is in some ways the perfect bike for ZA. Equipped with front and rear racks, a touring bike will let you go the distance and carry everything you’ll need to flee the city. If people can ride from Alaska to Argentina on one, you should be able to use yours to get out of downtown and into the woods.



Pros:

-good for long distances
-easily replaceable parts to find
-when equipped with four panniers, has good carrying capacity

Cons:

-limited to paved roads depending on configuration


Fat Bike

There is a current trend in bikes getting fatter. It’s a good thing too, because with threat of ZA looming in the horizon you’ll need a bike to climb over rubble, sand and snow to escape the undead. Fat bikes have fat tires that are designed to float and navigate over some questionable terrain. You’ll have to be creative and selective with your packing however since their capacity is a lot more constrained than the traditional touring bike


Pros:

-ride over everything!
-ability to really get off the beaten path

Cons:

-will be slower during the initial escape on paved roads
-lack of carrying capacity

Folding Bike
One would think that a bike with small wheels is the last bike you’d want during the ZA. However, folding bikes shouldn’t be underestimated. Just as they are useful for multi-modal trips in times of peace, folding bikes could make the perfect raiding bicycle. The small wheels are quick to accelerate and maneuver, perfect for urban zombie slaloms. You can drive to the outskirts of town (while you still have gas) and deploy the folder for a fast and quick trip into town to get supplies. They can also be folded and hidden a lot easier than full-sized bicycle.



Pros:

-Fast, quick and maneuverable
-Able to mix with other forms of motorized transit
-Easy to hide and stash

Cons:

-Will get weird looks from zombies
-hard to find parts
-not as much carrying capacity

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Comments
  1. Nancy L. Seibel says:

    I will go with the folder. You can carry gear (at least some) in addition to the other pros you mention. Better have a few extra tubes on hand though, the small ones could be hard to find.

  2. Ryan says:

    I can get 700x47c tires on my Handsome Devil (http://www.handsomecycles.com/bicycles/devil.php) not moonlander fat but plenty beefy might have to build up a special ZA wheelset with some fat ‘cross rubber 🙂

  3. theknitcycle says:

    I’m going to vote for a steel framed touring bike with moderately fat tires. Seems like the best balance of speed, carrying capacity, long-distance comfort, and still some chance of being able to make repairs post-zombie. Also swaying my vote is the fact that I don’t currently own one, so now disaster preparation gives me one more reason to continue the pursuit of n+1.

  4. Carl says:

    A PUGSLEY OR MUKLUK with front and rear racks and panniers. I have experienced Zombies, they’re slow and dim witted. A Fat bike would be fast enough for sure.

  5. Lindsay says:

    I’m sticking with my Yuba Mundo, it has enough room for my toddler and all his supplies too, which means I shall have plenty of dirty diapers and cheerios to chuck at the zombies-
    My biggest fear would be the zombies discover the joys of bicycles and start riding them. Can you imagine getting chased down and then right as they capture you, you find yourself contemplating your “immortal” soul and wham- they throw you to the ground and steal your bike!

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